


The Swear Jar

by nonFruitscriptor



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 02:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17357039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonFruitscriptor/pseuds/nonFruitscriptor
Summary: In which Trixie comes clean and Chloe relents.As usual, I don't own any of these characters.





	The Swear Jar

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this has been done to death but this is my take on Trixie's Swear Jar.
> 
> Proof read by the author so apologies for any mistakes.

### Friday Evening

“Trix, get your swear jar and we’ll count how much is in it”

Trixie reluctantly got the jar from the kitchen and gave it to her Mom.

“Hey Monkey don’t look so sad, I don’t think you’ve been too bad.”

“Mom, I have to get something from my room.”

“OK, don’t be long”

Chloe could hear “thump… thump... thump” the sound of something heavy being dragged down the stairs. 

“Trix, you OK?”

“Can you help me? It’s heavy.”

Chloe got up and walked to the foot of the stairs. Trixie was bumping down a large suitcase.

“What on earth do have you there?”

“I’m sorry Mom, I really am.”

Chloe grabbed the handle of the case and the two of them carried it into the living room. 

“What’s in it Trix?” her Mom demanded.

Trixie shrank away from her mother expecting to be yelled at.

“Don’t be mad Mom.”

Chloe bent down, undid the catches and flipped open the lid. She gasped when she saw the contents of the case, there was more money than she had ever seen, in crisp one hundred dollar bills. 

“It wouldn’t fit in the swear jar so I put in there.”

Chloe stared at her daughter than back at the case.

“How much is there?”

Trix bent down and pulled a little notebook out of a side pocket and thumbed through the pages.

“Sixty hundred and thirty five thousand dollars.” she said with a look of pride on her face.

“And there is another five thousand the jar.” she added with a smile. 

In a few seconds Chloe’s emotions went from shock to rage, she turned to her daughter, hands on hips.

“Beatrice, you don’t have to tell me where this came from because I can guess and I’m going to kill him.”

Trixie flinched at the use of her full name, she knew she was in trouble.

“Don’t be mad at Lucifer, I asked him to teach me some words.”

Chloe exploded.

“SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS WORTH OF SWEAR WORDS. YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. ”

She stomped across the room to retrieve her phone and hit speed dial.

“Detective,” Lucifer drawled, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Don’t you DARE Detective me Mr. THERE IS SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS IN THE SWEAR JAR. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“Ahh, let me explain..”

“IF YOU’VE TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER TO SWEAR LIKE A SAILOR SO HELP ME GOD I’LL….”

“Detective, there is no need to bring Dad into this, anyway, I only taught her two words.”

“What!”

“Just two Detective, Bollocks and Bloody Hell.”

“You’re joking right.”

“Never been more serious Detective.”

“So just two words?”

“Is your hearing defective? That is what I said.”

“So why all the money?”

“Because I taught Beatrice to say Bollocks and Bloody Hell in six thousand four hundred languages. When she got close to the correct pronunciation I put $100 in the swear jar.”

 

Chloe took the phone from her ear and stared at it in disbelief. 

“Detective, are you still there? You’ve gone quiet.”

She put the phone back to her ear.

“You can speak six thousand four hundred languages.”

“I can speak over eleven thousand languages, three thousand which are dead and a few hundred which have never been spoken on Earth.”

“You are making this up.”

“It’s the truth Detective, always the truth for you.”

“OK” shaking her head in disbelief, “well I guess I’ll return the money.”

“Not necessary Detective.”

“Then I’ll put it away for Trixie’s education.”

“That’s BORING, spend some of it, do something fun.”

“Like what Mr Party Man?”

“Like replace that ridiculous thing you call a car.”

“There is NOTHING wrong with my car.”

“I beg to differ Detective.”

“Lucifer, I’m not getting drawn into this” , realising she was getting pulled off topic, “and I AM going to punish you.”

“I’ll look forward to it Detective”

And he hung up.

Chloe stared at her phone, her brain trying to process the conversation she had just had.

As small voice got her attention.

“You OK Mommy?”

Chloe spun around to face her daughter.

“Bloody Hell and Bollocks in six thousand four hundred languages?”

Trixie hummed and nodded.

### Later that weekend.

 

“What colour, the red or the yellow?”

“I like the black with the red stripe.”

“Yeah that’s nice, so that one then.”

 

“And how do intend to pay for the car madam?”

“Do you accept cash?”

Darren Gillford , salesperson of the year, twice, stared at the women sat opposite him.

“Yes, but…”

“Great”

Chloe opened up the suitcase she had on her lap and started counting.

“One thousand , two thousand……..twenty five thousand……..”

“It’s from my swear jar.” the girl chipped in.”

Darren’s jaw dropped.

“Forty five thousand, forty six thousand… done. Count it if you like and you can keep the change.”

Chloe closed the case and sat back.

 

“Your swear jar?”

“Yes.”

“Your daughter knows that many swear words?” waving at the mountain on his desk.

Chloe shrugged.

“My work partner is an eccentric billionaire, he taught my daughter to say Bollocks and Bloody Hell in six thousand four hundred languages and he put $100 in her swear jar when she got the pronunciation right.”

“Right.” Darren eyed the mountain of cash on his desk again.

“So not Mob money?”

“Nope, I’m a Police Officer” and she flashed her badge at Darren.

“When can I take the car?”

“As soon as I’ve completed the paperwork.”

“OK, we’ll wait.”

 

### Monday Morning

Lucifer bounced into the Precinct.

“Detective,” a huge grin on his face, “you minx, a five litre Mustang, and I must say the colour, it’s so ME.”

Chloe didn’t take her eyes off her computer screen.

“Shut up.”


End file.
